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Seek and ye shall be confused

I am looking for freelance copywriting work. Browsing here and there, I come across the following:

‘Great opportunity for Conceptual ATL and digital Copywriter You’re probably already working in a switched on ATL /Digital agency.Must be able to create and inspire advertising campaigns, convert brands from one-dimensional product offerings into lifestyle choices. Able to encompasses a solid understanding of a brand’s objectives and the ability to communicate these aims in a way that encourages ongoing consumer loyalty, be relevant and enticing. Send conceptual work samples or web links and an outline profile of why you’re hot.’

I can’t even understand that job, let alone apply for it. In fact the only part I understood was ‘why you’re hot’.

I feel like I’m searching for everything at the moment: jobs, flatmates … Looking for a flatmate really is like dating. The ones you want don’t want you, and vice versa. A woman came on Wed who liked it, after a long and thorough inspection, but she was just too prim and proper – it would have been like sharing with my maiden aunt. Then I had another woman who I thought seemed great, and I would have given it to her, but she wanted to ‘see other places’. Sigh. Today yet another person came around and eventually revealed, after having a good look around for half an hour, that she wasn’t ready to move anywhere until early April.

‘Would the landlord mind not receiving rent for two weeks?’ she asked innocently.

‘Not at all,’ I felt like saying. ‘And he would also love to buy you some new shoes.’

This was a professional woman in her, I guess, early thirties. I boggle and I baffle. I am going to start questioning people a bit more closely before they come around. Wish me luck.

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