*Warning: I have run this post by the censor and been told that it makes me sound ‘a bit sad’. ‘You can add that too if you like,’ he said.
Me, yesterday: That dog upstairs was barking its head off today, I honestly thought it was having a seizure. But it was just going out for a walk!
A: I think it mainly barks when it’s being taken for walks.
Me: I thought it mainly barked when it was left on its own.
A (thoughtfully): Do you bark when you’re left on your own?
Me: No, I send you text messages.